Dear Book Friends,
I’m sorry for the dramatic title, but I wanted to get your attention so that you could be updated in my life.
How It All Went Down
On April 6th, the day after I turned 30, I got really sick. After being sick all day I woke up that evening feeling better. Turning on my phone I saw a few unread emails. Still feeling exhausted I opened the emails and found I couldn’t understand the words. I knew the letter names and sounds, but I couldn’t comprehend the word! It was crazy! Let me tell you, English is a difficult language. Sounding out words does not work AT ALL. Honestly looking back I think I was too tired to worry long before falling asleep.
After a week of doctor visits, blood work, and an MRI the doctor found that I had a “mass” on the left side of my brain. After seeing two neurosurgeons I was told that I have a low grade glioma which is a slow growing tumor that starts and stays in the brain. It’s on the left side which is the side of my language comprehension. Surgery is a possibility in the future, but we want to avoid it as long as possibly since it’s on the left side and has the risk of affecting my ability to read and understand words. There are ways to avoid those risks so I’m not too worried.
Where Do I Go From Here?
My Neurosurgeon said that I can go back to living my normal life. It took almost two weeks for me to feel completely back to normal, but I really do feel fine now.
I will go back in for an MRI in July to see if the tumor has grown and at what rate. I’ll have a biopsy in the fall with a possible surgery to remove some of the tumor.
What Have I Learned?
I am so grateful for my health. Things could be so much worse. I could have continued to have brain splitting headaches, but I don’t. I could have continued to fall asleep exhausted all day, but I don’t.
I am grateful for reading! I don’t think I took it for granted, but I know that reading is a part of my life I never want to give up. Writing and editing my Young Adult novel is also a part of my life that brings me so much joy. I teared up when I opened my word document to do some edits after more than two weeks of not being able to. The tears told me that this wasn’t just a hobby it is my passion. I hope everyone has a passion in life.
The time between finding out I had a mass in my brain and that it wasn’t the killing kind of cancer I thought it was possible that I was dying. No one can know how they will react to that thought, and I hope you never will.
For me, I felt peace. I know that my Savior Jesus Christ lived and died for me and was resurrected. He lives and loves us! I felt joy knowing that Jesus and God my Heavenly Father would be waiting to greet me in Heaven. Have I lived a perfect life? Nope, not even close, but I repent daily for my daily mistakes and try to live as Christ would want me to.
With this peace of leaving the earth came the thought I didn’t want to yet. I want to be here with my husband and to raise my four boys! My boys are 7, 5, 3, and almost 1 years old. The time we spend on earth is so short in the eternal perspective, but I want to spend as much time as I can here to help my boys come to know their Savior too.
Have you ever heard the country song Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw? The song is about a man who had cancer. I found myself singing part of the chorus multiple times throughout the day. (found at metrolyrics)
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I’d been denyin’
And he said, Someday I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin’
I hope you don’t have to live like you were dying to know what’s really important while we’re on the earth. The two things that stood out to me were to build a relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and to build loving relationships with our family and friends. We all have difficulties, and I hope I can always learn and grow stronger because of mine.
This was long, but I wanted to share with you what’s going on so you can know why I might continue to only post sporadically. Blogging is not the most important thing, but I do still enjoy sharing my love of books with all of you.