Dear Book Friends,
I’m sorry for the dramatic title, but I wanted to get your attention so that you could be updated in my life.
How It All Went Down
On April 6th, the day after I turned 30, I got really sick. After being sick all day I woke up that evening feeling better. Turning on my phone I saw a few unread emails. Still feeling exhausted I opened the emails and found I couldn’t understand the words. I knew the letter names and sounds, but I couldn’t comprehend the word! It was crazy! Let me tell you, English is a difficult language. Sounding out words does not work AT ALL. Honestly looking back I think I was too tired to worry long before falling asleep.
After a week of doctor visits, blood work, and an MRI the doctor found that I had a “mass” on the left side of my brain. After seeing two neurosurgeons I was told that I have a low grade glioma which is a slow growing tumor that starts and stays in the brain. It’s on the left side which is the side of my language comprehension. Surgery is a possibility in the future, but we want to avoid it as long as possibly since it’s on the left side and has the risk of affecting my ability to read and understand words. There are ways to avoid those risks so I’m not too worried.
Where Do I Go From Here?
My Neurosurgeon said that I can go back to living my normal life. It took almost two weeks for me to feel completely back to normal, but I really do feel fine now.
I will go back in for an MRI in July to see if the tumor has grown and at what rate. I’ll have a biopsy in the fall with a possible surgery to remove some of the tumor.
What Have I Learned?
I am so grateful for my health. Things could be so much worse. I could have continued to have brain splitting headaches, but I don’t. I could have continued to fall asleep exhausted all day, but I don’t.
I am grateful for reading! I don’t think I took it for granted, but I know that reading is a part of my life I never want to give up. Writing and editing my Young Adult novel is also a part of my life that brings me so much joy. I teared up when I opened my word document to do some edits after more than two weeks of not being able to. The tears told me that this wasn’t just a hobby it is my passion. I hope everyone has a passion in life.
The time between finding out I had a mass in my brain and that it wasn’t the killing kind of cancer I thought it was possible that I was dying. No one can know how they will react to that thought, and I hope you never will.
For me, I felt peace. I know that my Savior Jesus Christ lived and died for me and was resurrected. He lives and loves us! I felt joy knowing that Jesus and God my Heavenly Father would be waiting to greet me in Heaven. Have I lived a perfect life? Nope, not even close, but I repent daily for my daily mistakes and try to live as Christ would want me to.
With this peace of leaving the earth came the thought I didn’t want to yet. I want to be here with my husband and to raise my four boys! My boys are 7, 5, 3, and almost 1 years old. The time we spend on earth is so short in the eternal perspective, but I want to spend as much time as I can here to help my boys come to know their Savior too.
Have you ever heard the country song Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw? The song is about a man who had cancer. I found myself singing part of the chorus multiple times throughout the day. (found at metrolyrics)
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I’d been denyin’
And he said, Someday I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin’

I hope you don’t have to live like you were dying to know what’s really important while we’re on the earth. The two things that stood out to me were to build a relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and to build loving relationships with our family and friends. We all have difficulties, and I hope I can always learn and grow stronger because of mine.
In Conclusion
This was long, but I wanted to share with you what’s going on so you can know why I might continue to only post sporadically. Blogging is not the most important thing, but I do still enjoy sharing my love of books with all of you.
Love,
Kathryn
P.S- If you are interested to learn more about my religious beliefs visit these websites: lds.org and mormon.org
You’re so brave. I’ll be praying for you, your husband, and your babies.
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Hi Kathryn,
I just discovered your blog from a friend on Goodreads. I’m glad I did. (And not just because I loved your review of Divergent). It seems we have much in common. I want to encourage you, as I just turned 40.
My brain tumor was discovered when I was 19. I was also told to just “monitor it” and live a normal life.
More than half my life has passed, and I have been able to do just that.
Maybe not exactly “normal.” I panic every time my vision blurs. And once a few years ago, I suffered from dizzy spells so bad I was dizzy sitting down. I had to rush for an emergency MRI, when I was told it was a sinus infection. And MRI to diagnose a sinus infection.
However, Jesus has been faithful to provide me with the peace I have needed to not fear the tumor and live for Him. I have 3 children of my own, and I have no other choice in my eyes!
Also, as far as your writing. I completely understand not wanting to call yourself an author until you are published. I was the same way.
My publishing contract came when I was 36, and I am so glad the right publisher came my way. (I didn’t want to compromise my Christ-focused fiction and wanted to be able to provide something clean for my kids to read.)
I pray all the best for you and encourage you to contact me if you would like to talk further about anything. Blessings!
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Thank you for your kind words Tracy. I’m glad your tumor hasn’t slowed down your love of life. That’s how it should be!
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Wow, that sounds like a really scary experience, but it sounds like you have great perspective on the whole thing. I’ll be praying for you.
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Thanks Beth! Prayers are always appreciated. 🙂
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Kathryn, still do not believe it. I know Heavenly Father loves you and your family. I just never thought this could happen to someone so close to me after my mom. I want you to know that I think of you constantly and pray for you. If you need anything, anything please do not hesitate to call me at 325-203-0783. Tell Colt I said hi, and remember you are a daughter of God.
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Thanks Cory. It’s crazy I know. I can’t get over how much you’ve grown up since the days of pulling my chair out from under me in primary. LOL We’re coming out your way around July 12th for Colt’s family reunion. Maybe we can find some time to visit you and your crew. I’ll text you.
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Kathryn, I had no idea! You are so incredible and I am grateful for your testimony. I will pray for you. Thank you for all you do and for being such a light!
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Aww thanks Heather. I’m so glad to have you as a friend even though we’ve never met! Maybe some day we can go on book tours together!
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I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know from experience that trials often bless us in ways that we cannot initially comprehend. Stay strong … and look for some extra love off line. 😉
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Thanks Carey!
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I just found your blog after searching for a website that can recommend good, CLEAN fiction. I entered the search words “new fiction women writers clean” in google, and it brought me to you! I am so sorry about your tumor and I will pray for you. I am a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. I also love books, and of course, the very best book we can read is the Bible!
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I’m glad you found my blog! Enjoy perusing and reading clean fiction!
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What a wonderful attitude you have about the whole thing. I admire your positive outlook, your faith in Christ, and your willingness to share your struggles. Cancer scares are not fun, but they do give you perspective, don’t they? May God bless you and keep you strong!
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Thanks Susan!
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Whoa! The title of this post did get my attention! I have a friend who has a similar tumor to yours. I am so sorry to hear about this At the same time it was good to read about how grateful you feel for your life and your family. Be strong, Kathryn.
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Thanks Laura! I feel bad for making everyone worry, but I sure appreciate the support. It feels like I’ve thrown portions of my load to everyone which helps me so much.
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Oh no! I am so sorry to hear about your tumor and the stress it is causing you. I hope you are able to continue pursuing your dreams!
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Thanks Cherie! I do have some big dreams I’d love to pursue. 🙂
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Dear Kathryn, I will keep you in my heart and pray for your complete recovery. Love to you and your family. Kim Van Cura
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Thank you Mrs. Van Cura!
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What a great welcome to the 30s, huh?! 😉
I’m keeping you in my prayers! Oh, I can’t imagine how scary that must have been! (must still be) You’ve brought tears to my eyes! I’m so glad your tumor isn’t cancerous, and I’m praying hard it doesn’t harm your speech/reading.
((Hugs and Prayers))
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Oh my heck, I know! I can’t believe it all started the day after I turned 30. Thanks Bluerose!
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Kathryn, this makes my heart beat so quickly! You talking about feeling so sick, and about your feelings in the time between finding out what type of tumor it was,reminds me so much of my son’s symptoms (and my own thoughts) in the months before we discovered his brain tumor. It’s a horrible place to be.
I’m SO glad that you are okay, and especially that you are feeling better again. I can see your strength and love through your words in this post. I’ll be praying for you, and hoping for good news at your scan in July!
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Oh Penelope that breaks my heart. I wouldn’t sign up for this challenge, but I’d rather go through it then to see a sweet kid go through it. You are so strong and an amazing mom! Thanks for your prayers.
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We’re here for you! Thanks for sharing. I have enjoyed reading through your blog and look forward to more.
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Thanks Holly! Yes, have fun perusing my blog.
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So so scary Kathryn 😦 so glad to know you at feeling alright and will pray that that continues. You are a wonderful mom and example and hope things continuing going well for u and your family 🙂
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Thanks Erica!
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Kathryn, you are amazing. This post brought tears to my eyes, especially after you took the time to post a review of my book yesterday. I don’t know you very well, but this post made me want to be better–to be more grateful for all that I’ve been given. I’ll be thinking of you over the next while. I hope everything from here on out goes well, and that you have everything you need to become a world-famous authoress! 😉
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Thanks Hannah. I have to confess that I mostly tweek the UC review from my Cobbogoth review. 🙂 But I always love being a part of blog tours for authors I admire. Good luck and have fun with all the upcoming blog tours and press!
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It was perfect. I’m just honored you took the time to review it again with all that’s going on in your life right now. Thanks again! And good luck with everything.
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Kathryn, it was scary to see this post, but a relief to hear you’re okay. Though as a reader and a writer, I can imagine the thought of any risks to the language processing system is terrifying. I’m tearing up and so sorry for your pain, and wish you and your family all the best — health, comfort, and happiness. I’m sure you’ll be in the prayers of all your readers.
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It was super scary to not be able to read! Glad to feel back to normal. Thanks Loren!
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